


Cheese for the Cheese gods

by LostGhost_skull



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: But its kinda funny, Everyone is there but only mentioned, Prank wars time!, Secret Santa, its the only thing i can write, the title is a work in progress, this is mostly crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28346979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostGhost_skull/pseuds/LostGhost_skull
Summary: Secret Santa for Mell!The boys are in Wild's Hyrule, and finally able to relax. It's a pity that this day will end in tragedy.
Relationships: Four & Wind, Wild & Four, Wild & Wind
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Cheese for the Cheese gods

Most days were long and hard. Waking with the sun, traveling until no one could walk another step, sleeping and repeating. Some days would be spent fighting, but in truth those days were rare. Most nights they slept under the stars on hard earth with frozen toes. Regardless of what Hyrule they were in, even the tamer ones, most often they were in random places searching for Dink. They often stayed in towns only as long as it took them to find somewhere else to go.

But tonight, they were in Hateno, everyone was set up in a real bed (In Wild’s recently renovated house, as he said it was too crowded for him, Flora, and new friends and champions visiting.) Lunch was recently put away, and everyone was lazy. They had lost the trail, but Flora said that the data on the slate would be enough to try and trace him through the Sheikha network. The only problem was that it would take days to search all of Hyrule, so they were ~~stuck~~ ~~trapped~~ waiting at Wild’s house. They could sit and do nothing as long as they wished. 

And it was boring. So very boring, in fact, that Wind was being a nuisance, and Four was following him. The Wind being annoying wasn’t new, as when he was bored he often went to cause trouble, but Four going around and aiding shenanigans was. He was usually much more subtle. Long days of being stuck around Legend had ruined his patience. 

Out of boredom, he had wandered around Hateno, looking to see if there was anything new after their last visit (nothing, as he found out), had gone up to the lab to see if Flora was there (she wasn’t, _and_ _he still couldn’t find her_ ), and he had even tried to hang out with Wars for a bit (day drinking, trying to get wasted, already gone far enough that he hadn’t realized he stole his wallet), looked at the farms (really boring), found Time (he started drinking with Wars), watched Hyrule watch Wind watch Twilight, and was now following Wind as they raced Twi back to Wild’s house (for a prank). 

Nobody should be back at the house, so it was perfect. 

They could test on Twi, and then reset so they could get everyone coming in for dinner. 

_ Wait. I think we forgot something.  _

Four ran over everything in his head. They had inadvertently checked on except for Sky, who was sleeping and therefore not of any concern. The only one they hadn’t was…

Wild. The one whose house they were staying at. The one who was in that house. That one. 

They had to call this off immediately. 

  
  


Wild was wild. Free and unrestrainable, he lived and lived fully. He did what he wanted, he lived in the moment, and he regretted few things. He loved his family, his home, his land and people. He was who he was, did not care what anyone thought of him. 

He also took pride in his hair, as Four had realized. He didn’t let it get that dirty, usually keeping it up in buns and ponytails. He was proud of its length, and the fact that he was no longer part of a standing army to regulate it. When he could he washed it, and when he had the time he would braid it. However, he didn’t often have time or water to wash it in. Which was a pity as it made him happy. He loved to travel and see new places, but often had to sacrifice other things for the pace that they set.

All of this paled in comparison to the fact that he was sitting at the table, hair freshly washed and coiffed into an elaborate crown, serene and lovely, and now completely covered in melted cheese. 

  
  


In retrospect, Wind should have expected this. Wild would naturally be in his own home. He was probably used to pranks (Flora was  _ the best  _ after Tetra, of course), and this probably happened more often than it would in an ordinary house. Grandma would murder him, or worse, do the disappointed routine if he did this at her house. But, Wild was probably a little mad. Or furious. Or… really pretty? How did he do that? With the jem things? Were they little pins, or clips, or just sitting there? How much were they worth? How did he get the braid to stay? It always fell down when he tried to do Aryll’s hair.

“Hey.” You can do this, don’t mess it up. “So. Sorry?” 

Another thing he was not expecting was Wild to start laughing. 

  
  


It was one thing to start your day in a glowing bathtub. It was another to start it in another time. But cheese in the middle of the day? Unheard of. Beautiful. Brilliant. The perfect prank!

How they got so much cheese, and it all melted, was. Well. That was a real question, but luckily for them, the braid that Wild had put in was starting to fall out anyways, and he could definitely go for another shower. Two weeks of constant travel deserved multiple showers, with real plumbing, and all of his soaps and nice stuff. For, the goddess spake with a voice of thunder, saying, “treat yo self”. 

Oh. They looked sad. And confused. Was he not supposed to laugh? It was a good prank. Perhaps, they were-

“I'm so sorry Wild! You weren't supposed to be here, and, and we couldn’t get the trigger to stop and Twilight was coming and the pot was really hot and I dropped it and-” 

Oh. That made sense. Wind was so nervous because this wasn’t supposed to be a prank on him, most likely Wars or Twilight, because of the Thing.

“It exploded violently” Four finished, interrupting both Wind rambling and Wild’s thoughts. 

He couldn’t help it. They really looked like kids who got their hands caught in the honey pot. 

“I suppose it's only fair, then…”

And pulled the trigger. They never saw it coming, as one never expects to be covered in melted cheese. Zel- _ Flora’s  _ newest paint color, neon glow-in-the-dark blue splashed over them. The other triggers built into the wood table were near invisible, and it was unlikely that they would snitch how he got them, so he should be able to get everyone once they came in for dinner. 

He had already gotten Wars and Time trying to set up their own traps, but Wind and Four were the only ones who had actually been able to get him. Perhaps they should team up some time, but not now. 

“Go clean up, you two. I can use Flora’s new invention to get the mess. It needs to be tested, anyways.” He could be so mean. They wouldn’t figure out about the showers until tonight, as punishment. 


End file.
